Over the years, we have identified seven little tools that are the source of good conversational design. At the bare minimum, if you use these tools, conversations will grow deeper and work will occur at a more meaningful level. These seven helpers bring form to fear and uncertainty and help us stay in the chaos of not knowing the answers. They help us to move through uncomfortable places together, like conflict, uncertainty, fear and the groan zone and to arrive at wise action.
Be present
Have a good question
Use a talking piece
Harvest
Make a wise decision
Act
Stay together
1. Be Present
Inviting presence is a core practice of hosting, but it is also a key practice for laying the ground work for a good meeting. There are many ways of bringing a group to presence, including:
Start with a prayer
Start with a moment of silence
Check in with a personal question related to the theme of the meeting
Pass a talking piece and provide space for each voice to be heard
Start well. Start slowly. Check everyone in.
2. Have a good question
A good question is aligned with the need and purpose of the meeting and invites us to go to another level. Good questions are put into the centre of a circle and the group speaks through them. Having a powerful question at the centre keeps the focus on the work and helps a groups stay away from unhelpful behaviours like personal attacks, politics and closed minds.
A good question has the following characteristics:
Is simple and clear
Is thought provoking
Generates energy
Focuses inquiry
Challenges assumptions
Opens new possibilities
Evokes more questions
It is wise to design these questions beforehand and make them essential pieces of the invitation for others to join you. As you dive into these questions, harvest the new questions that are arising. They represent the path you need to take.
3. Use a talking piece
In it's simplest form a talking piece is simply and object that passes from hand to hand. When one is holding the piece, one is invited to speak and everyone is invited to listen. Using a talking piece has the powerful effect of ensuring that every voice is heard and it sharpens both speech and listening. It slows down a conversation so that when things are moving too fast, or people begin speaking over one another and the listening stops, a talking piece restores calm and smoothness. Conducting the opening round of a conversation with a talking piece sets the tone for the meeting and helps people to remember the power of this simple tool.
Of course a talking piece is really a minimal form of structure. Every meeting should have some form of structure that helps to work with the chaos and order that is needed to co-discover new ideas. There are many forms and processes to choose from but it is important to align them with the nature of living systems if innovation and wisdom is to arise from chaos and uncertainty.
At more sophisticated levels, when you need to do more work, you can use more formal processes that work with these kinds of context. Each of these processes has a sweet spot, it's own best use, that you can think about as you plan meetings. Blend as necessary.
|
Process |
Requirements |
Best uses |
|
Appreciative Inquiry |
At least 20 minutes per person for interviews, with follow up time to process together. Can be done anywhere. |
Discovering what we have going for us and figuring out how to use those assets in other places. |
|
Circle |
A talking piece and a space free of tables that can hold the group in a circle. |
For reflecting on a question together, when no one person knows the answer. The basis for all good conversations. |
|
Open Space Technology |
A room that can hold the whole group in a circle, a blank wall, at at least an hour per session. You have to let go of outcomes for this to realize its full power. |
For organizing work and getting people to take responsibility for what they love. Fastest way to get people working on what matters. |
|
World Cafe |
Tables or work spaces, enough to hold three to four at each, with paper and markers in the middle. You need 15 to 20 minutes per round of conversation and at least two rounds to get the full power. People need to change tables each round so ideas can travel. |
For figuring out what the whole knows. World Cafe surfaces the knowledge that is in the whole, even knowledge that any given individual doesn't know is shared. |
Refer to The Power of Appreciative Inquiry, Calling the Circle, Open Space Technology: A User's Guide, The World Cafe: Convening conversations that matter for details on running these processes.
4. Harvest
Never meet unless you plan to harvest your learnings. The basic rule of thumb here is to remember that you are not planning a meeting, you are instead planning a harvest. Know what is needed and plan the process accordingly. Harvests don't always have to be visible; sometimes you plan to meet just to create learning. But support that personal learning with good questions and practice personal harvesting.
To harvest well, be aware of four things:
Create an artefact. Harvesting is about making knowledge visible. Make a mind map, draw pictures, take notes, but whatever you do create a record of your conversation.
Have a feedback loop. Artefacts are useless if they sit on the shelf. Know how you will use your harvest before you begin your meeting. Is it going into the system? Will it create questions for a future meeting? Is it to be shared with people as news and learning? Figure it out and make plans to share the harvest.
Be aware of both intentional and emergent harvest. Harvest answers to the specific questions you are asking, but also make sure you are paying attention to the cool stuff that is emerging in good conversations. There is real value in what's coming up that none could anticipate. Harvest it.
The more a harvest is co-created, the more it is co-owned. Don't just appoint a secretary, note taker or a scribe. Invite people to co-create the harvest. Place paper in the middle of the table so that everyone can reach it. Hand out post it notes so people can capture ideas and add them to the whole. Use your creative spirit to find ways to have the group host their own harvest.
For more information and inspiration, consult The Art of Harvesting booklet available from Monica Nissen or Chris Corrigan.
5. Make a wise decision
If your meeting needs to come to a decision, make it a wise one. Wise decisions emerge from conversation, not voting. The simplest way to arrive at a wise decision to to use the three thumbs consensus process. It works like this:
First, clarify a proposal. A proposal is a suggestion for how something might be done. Have it worded and written and placed in the centre of the circle. Poll the group asking each person to offer their thumb in three positions. UP means “I'm good with it.” SIDEWAYS means “I need more clarity before I give the thumbs up” DOWN means “this proposal violates my integrity...I mean seriously.”
As each person indicates their level of support for the proposal, note the down and sideways thumbs. Go to the down thumbs first and ask: “what would it take for you to be able to support this proposal.” Collectively help the participant word another proposal, or a change to the current one. If the process is truly a consensus building one, people are allowed to vote thumbs down only if they are willing to participate in making a proposal that works. Hijacking a group gets rewarded with a vote. Majority rules.
Once you have dealt with the down thumbs, do the same with the sideways thumbs. Sideways doesn't mean “no” but rather “I need clarity.” Answer the questions or clarify the concerns.
If you have had a good conversation leading to the proposal, you should not be surprised by any down thumbs. If you are, reflect on that experience and think about what you could have done differently.
For more, refer to The Facilitator's Guide to Participatory Decision Making.
6. Act.
Once you have decided what to do, act. There isn't much more to say about that except that wise action is action that doesn't not over-extend or under-extend the resources of a group. Action arises from the personal choice to responsibility for what you love. Commit to the work and do it.
7. Stay together
Relationships create sustainability. If you stay together as friends, mates or family, you become accountable to one another and you can face challenges better. When you feel your relationship to your closest mates slipping, call it out and host a conversation about it. Trust is a group's most precious resource. Use it well. .