Home › Commons › Conversations-Forums › Questions for practical help ›

Any AoH practioners in Portland, Oregon?

Submitted by Ria Baeck on September 18, 2008 - 09:48.

On October 9-13, 2008 my family is gathering in Oregon to meet with my younger sister - age 48, who has breast cancer. She is probably in the last stages of cancer and upon conversation with her Oncologist, the average life span for someone who is in her stage is 2 years.
 
My sister has called her siblings/family together so that she can have a candid conversation about cancer, her life and death. We are coming from different parts of Texas, Ohio and Oregon to have a this conversation with her. We will be gathering in Tigard, on October 12, 2008. The conversation will be intentionally planned and facilitated for the circumstance.
 
I believe that the AoH process would be an excellent process for this conversation. Are there any AoH practitioners in the Portland, Oregon area that would be interested in hosting such a conversation? Do you have any suggestions? Input? How can we harvest this conversation?
 
As I family member, I feel that I need to be part of the conversation, however if I do participate as a host...What would be the best way to do this? How can our story best be told?
 
Your input would be appreciated.


The question I posed to Christina Baldwin was: How can we make sense of the Herrera family story through the power and practice of Ruth's life?


Ruben Castilla Herrera
Columbus, Ohio

Portland, Oregon

Submitted by Ruben Castilla ... on September 25, 2008 - 14:43.

Max,

Thank you. The documents you suggested and the questions which they pose are wonderful and I have sent them to my sister as she prepares for our conversation. Please continue to hold space for our conversation. I believe that it is groundbreaking.

Ruben

 

Portland Oregon

Submitted by Ruben Castilla ... on September 25, 2008 - 14:40.

Thank you Teresa. Many have responded to my call. Steve Ryman from LaGrande, Oregon has agreed to host our conversation. I would like to be in contact with Jill Nave, Pam or anyone else in the Tigard or PDX area.

Ruben

Answer from Teresa Posakony

Submitted by Ria Baeck on September 23, 2008 - 20:35.
Hi Ruben I am in Seattle 3 hours north of Portland..

I am CC’ing some folks to help you find someone to host your family lovingly through this process.  I’ve CC’d some of my Seattle mates  who have great hosting networks so they can see who comes to mind.  Also, my best friend lives in Tigard.  Jill Nave – she works in massage and healing practice so may also know someone and Pam who is a Shambhala Institute friend who lives in Portland.

It is a tender and precious time to be together.

Sending light.

Teresa Posakony

Answer from Max Neill

Submitted by Ria Baeck on September 23, 2008 - 20:34.
Hi Ruben,

Can I tell you that I am so impressed by your positive response to the deep challenge that life has thrown at your sister, you and your family - It's my hope that I could find similar strength when faced with similar circumstances.

I'm from nowhere near Portland, but I've no doubt that holding the meeting in an intentional way could be a very significant event. Being upfront about the issues in this way must be tremendously healthy and helpful for all concerned.

This person-centred planning work done by a group of women who have/have had breast cancer might also be useful to your sister. They have supported each other to put together 'one page profiles' listing what people like and admire about them, what is important to them, and what makes good support for them, that they have shared with friends and work colleagues:

http://www.elpnet.net/documents/Amandap.pdf
http://www.elpnet.net/documents/Eleanor1pager.pdf
http://www.elpnet.net/documents/Amandapage2.pdf

I think the practical and useful nature of such documents speaks for itself. Maybe similar headings would make good questions for the discussion at your gathering:

What do we like and admire about R. - how does she contribute to our lives?

What is really important to R. now and for the future?

What makes really good support for R.?

This could be followed up by making a plan for how to make sure R. lives in a way that matches what is important to her, and that she receives the different kinds of support she needs - from family, friends and healthcare.

Good luck to all of you.

Max Neill

answer from Toke Moeller

Submitted by Ria Baeck on September 23, 2008 - 20:31.
Hi Ruben

Hope you are well

you could try to contact my friend and AoH mate Steve Ryman, he lives in oregon

I agree you need to be part of the conversation - not host it - unless that is the only way it can happen

good winds with this